CHAPTER 1

　　*SOPHIA* I pushed Raul away from me and slapped him hard on the face. "I'm married... please Raul... don't make this anymore difficult for me... I'm sorry"

　　I hurriedly left the restaurant.

　　Getting into my car,I leaned against the headrest.

　　If it was Damien who got kissed by a woman... I would feel horrible.

　　Well, there's no need to feel guilty... it's not like he would ever know. I felt so free now.

　　At last... I wasn't leading anyone on anymore.

　　I feel pretty bad for Raul but I know he'll find someone else soon.

　　And now I have to spend all my time...my efforts helping the man I love to get better.

　　When I got home,it was evening.... Juanita informed me that Damien was in his study and didn't want any disturbances.

　　I know he wouldn't mind me disturbing him a little bit but I didn't want to.

　　He had a lot of work to do before we leave.

　　Just me and him....or a beach...an island...a boat... I couldn't wait. I assisted Juanita in preparing dinner and when I couldn't stand not seeing Damien,I headed for his study.

　　It wasn't locked so I led myself in. "Hey, Giogio.... it's time to put aside the company stuff now"I announced moving closer to him.

　　He was lon a white long sleeves which he had rolled up and slacks.

　　He was half sprawled in an arm chair,one leg bent over a knee.

　　His face was blank and betrayed no emotion but his eyes were bloodshot. I swallowed.

　　He looked furious.

　　Maybe he lost a deal or something. "Damien, what is it?" "Where have you been?"He asked,in a surprisingly calm voice. "I... I went to visit a friend"

　　And then,he laughed. "A friend?" He stood up and walked towards the window. "It's so hard to love me, isn't it?"He asked.

　　Sadness echoed in his voice. "Did I do something wrong?" "You're seriously asking me.You manipulative bitch!"He thundered.

　　I frozed.

　　What's this about? "When you always leave the house to go to one place or the other....it was him you go to see...Raul....and you were with him today"

　　I felt breathless.

　　How does he know that?

　　But he's got everything wrong. "I wasn't with...."

　　He turned to face me. "I'm not giving you the chance to lie anymore,just shut up and answer my questions...be truthful for once in your life, Sophia." "That night...when you came into my room...when you stopped being hostile towards me....were you going to run away?...were you about leaving but your plans failed because my men were everywhere?" "Damien...." "Yes or no?" "Yes,but it wasn't because....." "Shut up!When that plan failed....he sent that bottle of poison and it was for me, right?"

　　How did he find out?

　　Tears rolled down my cheeks.

　　This has gotten all messed up. "Yes... I wasn't going to...." His shoulders fell."You lied to me,you said you were no longer in touch with him...you said you knew nothing about the poison.In the hospital,I was going to let you go... I gave you the chance of chosing him... YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT ME THEN!Why did you....why did you make me foolishly believe that you felt something for me...you were going to kill me, eventually, weren't you?You probably thought of what you stood to gain...all my wealth would go to you....oh God! I hate this kind of surprises" He held the window pane.

　　I know he was talking about his parents' experience. "I never wanted to lie to you...but you've got things all confused.Yes...I was going to run away that night but it wasn't because your men were everywhere...I heard you in pains and I couldn't leave...I didn't even make it out of the hallway to know if your men were everywhere or not... I just couldn't leave you like that...And you can't blame me entirely for this...I was confused.... I had this man I thought I could do anything for and then when we got together...what I felt for you was so different... I didn't know who I love anymore. I love being with you more....you make me feel so different emotions that I couldn't explain... I couldn't think of ever leaving and when he sent that poison,I never thought of using it...I was mad at him.... I stopped taking his calls and I thought of how I could end things with him...that is what I did today....since we got married,this is the first time I've met up with him..." "You two kissed...." "He kissed me.... wait...you had someone monitor my movements?" "I tracked down your cellphone, myself" "How long have you been doing that?"

　　I feel so devastated.

　　He never really tried to trust me. "Just today....Ana told me everything"

　　Ana.

　　I shut my eyes as more tears dropped.

　　She never really liked me.

　　I was so stupid to think I've found a friend in her.

　　She still wanted Marcella for him. "I'm sorry I lied to you...but you have to believe me...I would never hurt you,Damien... I never meant to lie to you" "But you did anyway.If I'm supposed to believe all you just said...what was your reason for lying?" "You're too self-absorbed.You're too quick to conclude... I was scared that telling you the truth would ruin things between us." "Now you're blaming me for this?" "Well it's partially your fault...do you know how hard it was dealing with my feelings and just look at you right now,you don't seem to believe a single word I say.... I love you,Damien.I'm sorry I lied...I didn't know how to tell you but please believe me....I really love you... I'm sorry you saw that kiss...I won't lie to you again" "As if you ain't doing so right now"He sneered.

　　I sniffed, trying to stop crying.

　　He doesn't even believe that I love him. Why can't he just believe one thing I said? "I can never bring myself to trust you ever again, Sophia. I can't even differentiate your lies from the truth...we can never work.... let's stop hurting ourselves...you should go be with him... he's the one you love,you can even kill for him."He said, sadly. "Damien, please.. I'm begging you... please believe me...." "If I didn't have this stupid soft spot for you, I would have kicked you out tonight but it's freaking late... it's not safe.... Tomorrow, please leave." "Argh! I don't want to leave" "I really won't appreciate any dramatic scene of me manhandling you out of my house....just leave, Sophia"

　　I have never felt more dejected in my entire life.

　　I cried and begged him.

　　What was I supposed to do without Damien?

　　I just wanted another chance.

　　I won't mess things up again.

　　He walked passed me.

　　I ran after him and held his hand.

　　He shrieked!

　　He moved away from me and I watched him fighting to pull himself together.

　　He held his shaky hands together.

　　His teeth were clattering.

　　I watched in despair as he lost control of himself.

　　His whole body was quaking...his chest heaving rapidly....he stared at me, frightenly...tears burning his eyes. "Da....Damien..."I murmured, tearfully.

　　He held the wall for support and darted towards his bedroom.

　　I followed him feeling like a hundred years old.

　　Once in,I watched him shakily rummaged his drawer and got a syringe.

　　As he injected himself,he closed his eyes and tears streamed down his cheeks.

　　I stared at my hands....I can't touch him anymore. "I should have accepted my fate long ago.... there's nothing anyone can do for me... please go away"He bit out.